How to become a tough person in life?

tough person showing his attitude
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The mind is a strange place, when put to good use it could be your greatest tool, and if left untrained it will be your greatest enemy, creating hell on earth regardless of your life situation. You could have it all and still be in deep depression. why? Coz luxury and comfort has created a generation of softies. We complain, we nag, we create suffering for ourselves even when it is optional. Of course pain is inevitable if you are alive and if you are human. It can come in forms of heart break, death, ageing, trauma, abuse; you name it and I can show you a hundred and one ways that life can fuck you up. And most of us, the majority of us stick to the story, for the rest of our lives. We give power to the trauma and stay victimised till the end of our days. What a shame, what a waste of human potential.

I understand that every story is unique, you can’t quite say that one person has had it harder than the other, coz the extent to which we feel the pain is personal. But let me stop sugar coating this shit and tell you the brutal truth. Some DO have it harder. And a very small percentage of those who have gone through hardship that causes deep psychological damage still manage to rise up and embody excellence. I’ve heard plenty of stories of “oh she has gone through much this is why she is the way she is” or “her parents divorced at a very young age, this is why she makes bad choices in men”. These situations of course have gravity, but let me give you a genuine testimony, as someone who has gone through rape, violence, abuse, black eyes and concussions; the only time my reality shifted was when I forced my mind to change its perception of my experience. I started looking for answers in my pain, I let it be a catalyst to transform me. I broke open the prison of victim hood and did everything in my power to empower myself. I envisioned who I am now, 9-10 years ago. I wasn’t physically strong, I didn’t have much of an opinion to share with the world, I didn’t know who the fuck I was and spoke with no conviction or confidence. I hated myself so much that I would lie to create this attractive persona so that people would like me. I had beautiful afro curls when I was in uni and Africans thought I was east African, Hispanics thought I was Mexican, Mauritians thoughts I was one of them and guess what? I played all those characters. Just because I never found myself likeable and far from loveable. I didn’t know what I was good at, I had a hazy vision of what is right and wrong, I stole to keep my starving-self full, I couldn’t keep a job, I was constantly getting evicted from houses to a point where by the end of my 5 years in Melbourne I lived in over 15 different places. I was in a huge fucking mess. And I kept blaming my abuser for all this. For robbing me off my innocence, for violating me, beating me up, smacking my head against hard places so often that I couldn’t keep my head on the pillow for most days, I had to sleep on my face so that the pain would cease to exist. I had to fight these demons for nearly a decade until I started seeing a change in my reality. And even when I saw no results, even when I had no money in the bank, I did the work. The moment I told myself to change my point of view, to take responsibility for my life and what was becoming of it I never stopped. It was not an overnight thing, I still battle my darkness ever so often but NOW I don’t bitch, nag, complain, whine about it. I just do the shit that will guarantee my rising. I prep my mind with toughness. I put myself in hard situations that will make me a hard mother fucker. I wake up at 4.45 and whip out a workout when the whole world is sleeping, I work from 8am till 5pm with super natural focus. 5pm again comes my second workout so I energize myself for the next few hours. I meditate twice a day, the only way to tame my minds hell. I give away my possessions, money or thing quite often so I remain grateful for how far I’ve come and to give back to life that has given me so much. I will kick, I will fight, but one thing I won’t take with me when I die, is being a pussy who didn’t give her 100% into life. My conscious will be clean, coz every day is an opportunity to grow, evolve and serve. So if you are at home staring at your Instagram feed or watching a tv series. Let me tell you one thing, life on earth is limited, and you will die a loser with your potential unfulfilled. Don’t be that person.

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